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Why Should Anyone Make a Covenant with Another Person?

I think it’s important to answer the “why?” question before we go out and form covenants with people. Should we form a covenant because we go to the same church or because we’re part of the same ministry? Should it be based on proximity — if you’re a Christian in my town is that enough to form a covenant relationship? Or are these foundations too shallow to build such meaningful relationships on? In my quiet time this morning I was reading 1 Samuel 18 and in it Jonathan and Davide make a covenant. Here’s what it says (verses 1-3): “And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father’s house. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.”   So in this situation the Bible answers the “why?” — the motive — behind this covenant. Verse 3 says it was “because he loved him,” so we learn that love was the motivation for their covenant relationship. It didn’t say, “Jonathan perceived it would be wise to form a strategic alliance with David.” But how many times do we try to form covenant like relationships with others because it “makes sense?” The wisdom of the world teaches that relationships should be formed only when both parties will benefit from it. ‘You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours’ kind of mentality. But God’s...

Ever Tried Making New Friends at Church?

Have you ever started going to a new church and “tried” making friends? Perhaps you’re one of the lucky few who’s never had to experience this process. Or maybe you’re weird and actually enjoy attending groups where you know that the not-so-hidden-agenda is to “make friends”. Many of us would admit, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to make new friends at church. Acquaintances, yes – that’s easy – but friends, not so easy.   I’ve been thinking about this lately since I’ve been on my whole “relationship kick” and I’ve even had a couple conversations outside my head (you know, those real life ones?). I’ve discovered I’m not the only one who has the questions, “How are Christians supposed to form relationships in an organic way?” and “What does biblical community really look like?” How do we go about making new friends at church? Most of us would agree that relationships, especially with other believers, are a very important part of life. No question there. But how we go about making and maintaining those friendships can be complicated and confusing. As a result many never experience real authentic relationships and instead settle for casual friendships that center more around activities than around the relationship. And even for those who understand how to form these authentic relationships there is the whole issue of time. Relationships take time and these days it seems just about everyone is short on this limited resource. I know I try to pack as much as I can into a day and most the time I have little left over for just “hanging...

When Is The Best Time To Invest In Relationships?

We claim relationships and people are what really matter in life. It’s not money, cars, houses, or businesses. Our relationships are the most important part of our lives. We all agree on this right? Then why do we spend so little time learning how to have healthy relationships and so much time learning about everything else? That doesn’t make sense. If  people are more important then work why do we spend 60 hours a week working on our business and just a few left over hours on our relationships?   I’m not trying to make you feel guilty and I’ll admit, I struggle with this myself. I can easily spend hours on end reading books and blogs related to my business and hobbies but very little time learning about things like love, trust, commitment and communication – all necessary ingredients for healthy relationships. Two Reasons We Fail To Invest in Our Relationships Either relationships are not as important as we claim they are or we don’t recognize a need to work on relationships. We assume we know how to be a good friend, spouse or disciple and just continue on with our busy lives. Don’t fix it if it’s not broken, right? Wrong. The time to work on your relationships isn’t when things are broken (that’s called reconciliation). The best time to invest in your relationships is right now, when things are going “OK”. It’s like anything in life. Is it better to invest in your health now or wait until you get sick? Is it better to market yourself now while you already have work or wait until...

Covenant Relationships

  I heard a local business owner, who is an amazing man of God, share something profound last week at a business meeting. It was about covenant relationships and biblical community. Sure, I’ve heard about these subjects before but there was something different this time. Something happened during that meeting and I can’t stop thinking about. I’m not writing this because I feel like I have a solid grasp on the matter. I just feel like I had an “ah-ha” moment. Like a door was opened and now I’m walking into this new room and exploring it. Writing helps me explore. Life and Church Make More Sense The door that was opened to me was “covenant relationships”. I feel like I got a glimpse at how important these type of relationships are. Life and church even seem to make more sense in light of this. And I’m starting to understand why God seems to be so obsessed with this whole, “love God and love one another” thing. It’s not some religious command we’re supposed to obey in order to be holy. It’s actually what we were created for! Like I said, I don’t have this thing figured out but my curiosity and interest levels are at an all time high. For me that’s important, considering I’m prone to being a loner. I’m the type who could spend an entire weekend alone with a few good books and a journal and be content. It’s not that I don’t like people, I’m just happy being alone. But marriage (a covenant relationship) changed that. The Marriage Covenant I tell my wife she...